115711

Joke of the Day

"Why don't you prescribe Viagra as an antidepressant? it only makes things harder."

"Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain."

"How many French horn players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better."

"Dead baby joke What the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of sand? I don't eat sand."

"I couldn't remember the name of a Skrillex song, so I tried to sing it for my friend, ended up puking and he guessed it."

"I'm sleepier than a cupcake stand. They are tiered... sorry, this joke has too many layers."

"I don't celebrate Valentine's Day ever since I took a girl out for heart shaped pizza and I realized it was smaller than normal pizza."

"I'm making a device where if you push an already lit elevator button, you get Hepititis C"

"I'll be signing books at Barnes & Noble from 6 p.m. to whenever they kick me out for ruining all their books."

"What if Adele was calling from inside the house?!"