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Joke of the Day

"How many French horn players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better."

"How many people does it take to change a light bulb in Brazil? A Brazillion!!! http://imgur.com/c4CJjUd"

"Two cannibals were having lunch. 'Your girlfriend makes a great soup' said one to the other. 'Yes!' agreed the first. 'But U'm going to miss her terribly.'"

"*12 pulls a gray hair out of my head* M: Wow, look at that! 12: Hang on. There's A LOT more! M: 12: Can I get paid for pulling these out?"

"""Tim's coming tonight"" ""Tim with hooves for feet or Tim that likes to bang coconut halves together?"" [in the distance] clip-clop clip-clop"

"Greece just demanded royalties from all countries in the world for using democracy ""As for Russia, they don't have to pay us anything""- Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras clarified earlier today."

"What happens when you get a bladder infection? Urine trouble."

"Just bought a raffle ticket, top prize a Mediterranean cruise. Last week's was a rollover"

"Friend: I'm getting married! Me: Have you considered just letting a homeless man sleep on your couch, instead?"

"A man walks into a bar . . . He says ""Ow""."