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Joke of the Day

"I'll be signing books at Barnes & Noble from 6 p.m. to whenever they kick me out for ruining all their books."

"Hey, Morgan Freeman. Donating $1M to Obama's campaign isn't going to make him get older faster so you can play him in the movie."

"Do you know why God created atheists? Haha. Good one."

"What is irony? Irony is when something has the chemical symbol Fe."

"Why shouldn't you take your clothes off while riding the elevator? It could get you an in descent exposure charge."

"I work in tech support and one of my co-workers drowned last week... we buried him in rice and he came back a day later!"

"Communist alternative of ""grab 'em by the pussy"" would be... ...""seize the means of reproduction."""

"I remember 2016 Like it was just yesterday"

"Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps? New Jersey got to choose first"

"Which vitamin best helps a pokemon breed? PP Up."