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Joke of the Day

"Dead baby joke What the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of sand? I don't eat sand."

"My New Years resolution is to not make a New Years resolution. I figure I am going to fuck it up anyway... I may as well do it from the start."

"What did the Mexican firefighter call his son?? Jose"

"You can't run a country like a business. If you did, you'd have to pay profits to investors, meaning citizens. And that's socialism! Bye!"

"Every idiot can use a computer. Most do."

"Apple's new iphone sold over 13M units this past weekend I guess you can say it was a 6S"

"If Trump becomes president... It would be the first instance of a white billionaire kicking a black family out of public housing."

"After starting on August 15th, 2004, Julia Roberts just finished brushing her teeth a few hours ago."

"you know how Hitler used to tie his shoes? In little nazis"

"A condom doesn't guarantee safe sex. My friend was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband."