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Joke of the Day

"I Gave My Father $100... I gave my father $100 and said, ""Buy yourself something that will make your life easier."" So he went out and bought a present for my mother."

"I had no shoes and I felt sorry for myself..... Then I met a man with no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better."

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!"

"At the end of the Age of Dinosaurs what happened to the good ones? They got veloci-raptured."

"Why do lesbians never cook? Because they eat out."

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!"

"Why do they say I'm black in the bedroom? I'm fast."

"What did the old maid get the vasaline for? 84 cents. Joke by my grandfather"

"Which two letters are rotten for your teeth? D K"

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand seeing a man have a good time."