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Joke of the Day

"I had no shoes and I felt sorry for myself..... Then I met a man with no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better."

"I was having an argument with my deaf wife. All women are the same, they don't listen."

"I swear if I see one more tweet about 11/11/11 being once in A life time I will snap. Every date is once in a life time! That how time works"

"If breaking a mirror is seven years of bad luck. What would have to break to give you 18? a condom"

"Did you hear the one about Sandusky at the beach? A father walked up to him and said, ""get out of my sun!"""

"My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers."

"Women always call me ugly,until they find out how much money I make Then,they call me ugly and poor"

"When I get naked my shower gets turned on."

"I just dropped my phone in the toilet and for a second I stood over it and thought, ""That's where it belongs."""

"I went to a child psychologist once. He was rubbish. He was only seven."