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Joke of the Day

"A little advice on poetry..... If you don't know if you like a poem or not just perform the ex lax test. See if it moves you"

"""Let's take a couple dozen over-stimulated children and give them enough sugar to kill an elephant."" - inventor of the birthday party"

"Relationship Status: Very relieved towels can't get pregnant."

"Election One-Liner Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work.."

"I think my entire family is racist. I was dating an Asian woman and eventually brought her to my home to meet my family My wife and kids didn't even want to talk to me."

"How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head? When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up"

"Why can you not shower with a Pokemon? Because they'll Pikachu"

"I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you."

"What do lawyers and sperm have in common? Both have a 1 in 2 millon chance of being a person someday."

"Frequently Asked Questions: 1) You did what? 3) How dare you? 53) Don't you know how numbering lists works?"