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Joke of the Day
"[God inventing iguanas] Maybe humans are done dealing with dinosaurs, but ants aren't"
Next Joke
"Why don't ducks become doctors? They are afraid of accusations of quackery"
"Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours."
"I'd be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now"
"Ex-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has died following a stroke but why she was following it, nobody knows."
"Penises are like internet connections Having a big pipe is great, but it doesn't do you much good if you don't have any uptime."
"Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying."
"What body of water is used for writing? The Apostrosea."
"I'm a 40 yr old man sitting at a Cafe with my eyes closed, squirting packets of mayo from under the table at the window as people walk by."
"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? [NSFW] I wouldn't pay five hundred dollars to have a lentil on my face."