113083

Joke of the Day

"A boy has a stunning realization and confronts his mother Boy: Mum! Why am I black and you're white? Mum: Considering all the crazy shit I've done years ago, you should be glad you aren't barking"

"What do you call the hairiest man in the camp? Jewbacca"

"*goes down on escalator Escalator: I have a boyfriend"

"You know, as a child I was always told to give one hundred precent at everything I do... Needless to say the blood drive did not go very well."

"I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then ask me why I'm not wearing pants."

"How does NASA organize their Christmas party? They planet"

"I dented my Ford Focus and now it's blurry."

"The girl I'm seeing said I should say ""make love"" instead of ""fuck"" I said ""what the make love are you talking about?"""

"We get it, painters: you love naked women and bowls of fruit."

"I recently bought a corset to spice up my sex life. Once I've learned how to breathe in the damn thing I'll tell you how it worked out."