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Joke of the Day
"I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then ask me why I'm not wearing pants."
Next Joke
"Why did they have to call Aquaman Aquaman Because they couldn't call him Seaman"
"What is the difference between snowmen and snowomen? Snowballs."
"You treat your body like a temple? That's nice. I treat mine like a whorehouse above a liquor store next to a motherfucking Taco Bell."
"I see your choices and raise you one eyebrow."
"you can tell im drunk by the number of made-up words i concoctulate"
"Someone keeps adding soil to my allotment overnight. It's an absolute mystery as to why though. The plot thickens..."
"Robocop: I am Robotcop Criminal: You don't say the t you robo moron R: [visibly confused] Pu down he gun you are under arres"
"Virgin mobile employee asked when imma pay the bill and I said ""I'll pay when Lebron's hairline stops receding."" I got sent to collections."
"Did you hear about the new strain of bird flu? Chirpees... a canarial disease... un-tweetable."