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Joke of the Day

"I'm not the jealous type. And no I don't know why every time you talk to someone the police find their body dumped in a river the next day."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer. What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes? Still, no eye deer."

"What do you get if you cross a plum with a man eating monster? A purple people eater."

"My wife just left me because I spent our life savings on a penis enlargement... She couldn't take it any longer"

"Heard about the new paki doll coming out for christmas? You wind it up and it stinks."

"Following someone on Twitter and complaining about what they tweet about is like phoning someone to tell them you don't want to talk to them"

"Some of you may be dismayed by Ted Cruz's recent annoucements But please remember that ""pulling out"" is the only acceptable way for a Christian to terminate a presidency"

"They say that it's tough to learn Bosnian because it has seven verb tenses: six past one present and no future."

"Helping a friend So I got a text from my friend this morning telling me he was going to kill himself. Do I reply? Or just leave him hanging."

"I got a paper cut writing my suicide note It's a start"