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Joke of the Day

"Helping a friend So I got a text from my friend this morning telling me he was going to kill himself. Do I reply? Or just leave him hanging."

"If you get cold, just stand in a corner for a little bit. They're usually 90 degrees."

"I used to be addicted to soap But I'm clean now."

"What's the most terrifying gift your SO/Family can buy for you? Reddit gold."

"A black guy and a Puerto Rican guy are carpooling to work together."

"So a neutron walks into a bar... So a nutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, ""how much for a drink?"" bartender simply shrugs and replies, ""for you, no charge."""

"""As someone who has shown an interest in vacuums,"" the email from Amazon said, unsubscribedly."

"What did they call Ebola before the Internet? Bola"

"What did the frustrated cannibal do? Threw his hands up"

"We were driving past the graveyard and my dad asks: ""Do you know why I can't be buried there?"" ""Why not?"" ""Because I'm not dead yet, Son."""