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Joke of the Day

"Following someone on Twitter and complaining about what they tweet about is like phoning someone to tell them you don't want to talk to them"

"Instead of racism or misogyny, why not hate the people who wear pyjamas and slippers to the airport?"

"A man streaked passed two old women in the park... the first one had a stroke; the other missed"

"My girlfriend says she enjoys sex more whilst on holiday. Well I can tell you, that was an awkward postcard to receive."

"What did the insurance company say to the applicant? THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!"

"What is the difference between a teacher and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four..."

"The word ""beard"" comes from an old Latin phrase meaning ""sit on my face"""

"You know what I hate the most about suspense?"

"A man orders a large cup of coke with ice Upon receiving his drink he began to wonder why his hands were so cold. Then he realized that just ice was served."

"An officer was fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job... No exact details were given to the public, but he was a high wanking officer"