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Joke of the Day

"Cat: Meow Me: Hi Cat: Meoww *picks up cat* Cat: Meowww *puts cat down* Cat: Meowwww *feeds cat* Cat: Meowwwww Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"What's wet on the inside, hairy on the outside, starts with C and ends in T? Coconut."

"I'm going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance."

"Had the words ""I love you"" tattoed on my dick. Wife made me remove it because... she said I was always trying to put words into her mouth."

"*cocks gun* Me: ""Go ahead."" Horse: ""Just be cool, man."" Me: ""DRINK."" Horse: ""No problem. It's just a stupid expression."""

"So the invisible man masturbated the other day No one saw him coming."

"Why do jews have a big nose? Because air comes free of charge."

"I bet vampires just walk around saying how different things were in back the old days."

"How did US felt when Trump is elected as the president? TRUMPmatized. (Traumatized, ^get^it?^ha^ha^kill^me^please )"

"The first person who pulled an egg out from under a chicken's ass and ate it must have been really fucking hungry."