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Joke of the Day

"Cat: Meow Me: Hi Cat: Meoww *picks up cat* Cat: Meowww *puts cat down* Cat: Meowwww *feeds cat* Cat: Meowwwww Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

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"So I went to a fortune teller and asked if I was going to get any action that night. She told me she didn't deal in self fulfilling prophecies."
"Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger? It had beef."
"What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office? I can clearly see ""you're"" nuts...."
"Where do girls have the curliest hair? Africa."
"Two vultures boarded an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looked at them and said, ""I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion per passenger is allowed."""
"What's the worst thing you can hear after giving Willie Nelson a bj? I'm not Willie Nelson."
"What do you call a? What do you call a convict walking down some stairs? Con-descending"
"How do you separate the Greek men from the Greek boys? A crowbar."
"Breaking up on Twitter: It's not @you it's @me."
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