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Joke of the Day

"How did US felt when Trump is elected as the president? TRUMPmatized. (Traumatized, ^get^it?^ha^ha^kill^me^please )"

"Sometimes a man's idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name."

"People are all like ""STAY OUTTA MY LIFE GOVERNMENT"" and then they shut down and people are all like ""COME BACK IN MY LIFE GOVERNMENT"""

"Why couldn't Donald Trump be a successful song writer? Because every good song has a bridge, not a wall."

"Apparently Mr. Neeson's ""particular set of skills"" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped."

"One day Canada will conquer the galaxy... And they'll call it the *Milky Eh*."

"My girlfriend said my dick reminded her of philosophy class Because it's so deep"

"A laptop made in the United States is a portable device. A laptop made in Mexico is a deportable device."

"I'm too immature for adultery."

"My mom when I was a kid: ""Never talk to strangers."" ""Never get in their cars."" Me to my future kids: ""Here's how to order an Uber."""