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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when people show up at MY house, knock on MY door, and then ask me why I'm not wearing pants."

"I think some of you need an exorcism not an intervention."

"Those goddamn Asian drivers....... Always crashing my PC"

"After last nights performance you've really got to feel sorry for goalkeeper Julio Cesar... The last time i saw a brazilian facing that many shots he was jumping a ticket barrier at stockwell."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar.... And a table.....then some chairs..."

"Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good, and we will slowly kill you"

"BREAKING: Daniel on Facebook is worried about his account's privacy but Paul is all ""that shit's a hoax dude!"" More as this story develops."

"Why do Trekkies never grow out of Star Trek? They always somehow just Klingon to it."

"What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out."

"What does Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving? Twerkey!"