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Joke of the Day

"What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out."

"Computers can beat us at go and chess, but we can still kick their asses at kickboxing."

"How did Metallica get their band name? They Bonded over lunch."

"I was dating an analog synthesizer But I had to break it off. She was just continuously variable."

"My X made the worst coffee. I thought it was grounds for divorce."

"I need to hire someone to follow me around and abruptly drag a needle across a record every time that I enter a room."

"why does the NSA hate blizzards? Because they get Snowden."

"A man fell into a river. Why did he refuse help? He was in The Nile"

"Brussel sprouts are like anal sex. If you were forced to have them against your will as a child, chances are you won't enjoy them as an adult."

"Chicken pot pie Three of my favorite things."