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Joke of the Day

"Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good, and we will slowly kill you"

"Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a ""Who has more testicles?"" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5."

"A pair of mittens says to a hat, ""I'll stay here, you go on a head"""

"Where can you find an asexual person? You can't. They ain't fuckin' anywhere."

"What do you find in the Pope's toilet? Holy shit!"

"Two drunks come out of a bar... One says to the other: ""We gotta go back, I forgot to pee."" The other one replies: ""No problem, dude, I can teach you how to do it!"""

"What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club? Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants..."

"I had the dream again, the one where I show up to a standardized test with a no.3 pencil."

"Thanksgiving is probably the only day that there are more searches for ""stuffing"" on Google than on PornHub."

"My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I'm seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe."