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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night."

"Coining Money. George Washington: We should put ""We Trust In God"" on our money. Thomas Jefferson: Great idea! Did you get that? Yoda: Yep"

"""Hey! check out my new ink"" *removes shirt, stands naked* ""Dude!, I don't see anything"" ""It's invisible ink"""

"A peacock is just a chicken made by Versace."

"My wife and I walked past a fancy restaurant She said ""Ohh , something smells nice"" So I decided to treat her - I let her walk past it a second time."

"Little known fact: Arizona's state flower is pavement."

"""The moon is so close to earth right now""... ...""You can probably see it from space"""

"It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To go look for his flatmate."

"I think I'm just going to date procrastination... It just makes sense, it's been fucking me every day since high school."