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Joke of the Day

"CHILLING WITH ESKIMOS Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice? A. Polaroids."

"A blonde and a brunette are discussing the previous night out... The brunette says, ""Last night I slept with a Brazilian."" ""Oh my god!"" the blonde replies. ""How many is THAT?"""

"If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring? Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end."

"My superpower is making red lights turn green simply by trying to write a tweet."

"Want to know how copper wire was invented? Two jews fighting over a penny."

"My doctor asked if I drink to excess. I told him I'll drink to anything."

"Took a career aptitude test. My results: sports team mascot, bridge troll, sign twirler, petting zoo shit shoveler"

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""The pilot! Let me in!"" . . . Too soon?"

"I work in construction... We don't have side pieces, we have back hoes"

"I found the secret to r/Jokes Ctrl + C Ctrl + V"