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Joke of the Day
"My superpower is making red lights turn green simply by trying to write a tweet."
Next Joke
"Fruits are single-handedly keeping the sticker industry afloat."
"What do you do if you start seeing a little glowing green man Walk across the street"
"My wife caught me checking out the nanny the other day. She fired the nanny. Then she told me no more sex for a year! I said, ""You're firing the maid, too?"""
"From my Dad: I never did get around to paying for my exorcism So now I've been repossessed."
"I was walking through a graveyard this morning and saw a man squatting by a tombstone. I shouted ""Morning!"" He replied ""No, just pooping."""
"My brother threw a can of Pepsi at me from the roof... I'm just glad it was a soft drink otherwise that may have caused some serious damage."
"Restless leg syndrome does not give you the right to swiftly kick people whenever you feel like it. I know that now.. "
"I'm glad to see Reddit is so environmentally friendly! Especially /r/jokes. They are full of recycled content!"
"Decided to watch the lunar eclipse tonight... Couldn't see the moon"