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Joke of the Day
"I work in construction... We don't have side pieces, we have back hoes"
Next Joke
"I hate when my wife asks me to hold her purse and it doesn't match what I'm wearing."
"A man suffering Crohns Disease who speaks to the deceased is currently fornicating with his obese wife. he's a small medium in large."
"[getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut."
"How come when someone says ""we need to talk"" it's never about ice cream or Star Wars?"
"911: What's you're emergency? ME: You mean ""your""? 911: OK. So..? ME: Someone's murdering me 911: You mean ""murdered"" ME:.. 911: [dial tone]"
"Story of Dave There was one a man named Dave. Who kept a dead whore in a cave. He said, 'ah, what the hell, I'll get used to the smell'. 'And think of the money I'll save'."
"Is it just me? Or does amy schumer look like sarah silvermann sounds?"
"What did Cinderella do when she finally got to the ball? Choke."
"What do you call it when a deer and a rabbit runaway together? Jackaloping"