109752

Joke of the Day

"A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The screwdriver responds, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was auhmonahahha"

"TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first."

"I would like to start a career in boxing, but I couldn't find any promotor But then I can just send a tweet to Donald Trump"

"One of my biggest fear is being chased by Usain Bolt during zombie apocalypse."

"*horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into an optometrist* Horse: Holy shit please help me"

"I told a chemistry joke once but there was no reaction"

"I was going on my first date and my mom gave me a whistle... I asked her what purpose does this serve to which she replied, ""to remind you not to blow it."""

"What happened to the joke that insulted the mods? People laughed, because it was a good joke."

"According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me."