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Joke of the Day

"TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first."

"Why was the turkey (bird) named after the country? Because fuck you that's why"

"Time to diet. Went to the neighborhood pool today and all the women dressed me with their eyes..."

"I just want someone to like me. Not you. I meant someone pretty."

"Three tampons are walking down the street... which one says ""hi"" to you? None of them, they're all stuck up cunts"

"Anne has a will.. Anne has a way.. Anne Hathaway."

"Why did the film critic protest the new children's cemetery? He's not a fan of juvenile plots."

"Circles. I don't see the point in them."

"What tool turns a 20mm hole into a 100mm hole? A pedophile."

"I fell over a toilet roll display at my local supermarket I cut my leg badly and was rushed to hospital. I said to the doctor, ""what's the damage"" He replied, ""just some torn tissue""."