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Joke of the Day
"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was auhmonahahha"
Next Joke
"""This birthday cake certainly is crunchy."" ""Maybe you should spit out the plate!"""
"There are two muffins in an oven. The one muffin says to the other one, ""Woah, a silent muffin!"""
"Going down on a woman is the best. The way her thighs cover your ears so you can finally get some quiet time..."
"Closing a browser window when someone walks by my computer is the most Pavlovian thing that I do."
"I'm getting pretty worried, my girlfriend hasn't gotten her period yet. And she's already 14."
"If you're American when you go into the bathroom... ...and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? European"
"combine the name of the first enemy you ever had and the name of the last thing you ate out of a microwave to get your Horrible Asshole Name"
"I finally met Miss Right! It wasn't until we were married that I found out her first name is Always."
"[SKYRIM JOKE] Why didn't the Nords win the theater audition? They should have acted."