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Joke of the Day

"I was going on my first date and my mom gave me a whistle... I asked her what purpose does this serve to which she replied, ""to remind you not to blow it."""

"""Get off your high horse!"" - Veterinarian who prescribed medical marijuana."

"WTF? Anal bleaching Normally I'd be against such a thing, but some assholes just need to lighten up."

"Yo momma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck."

"If the opposite of impossible is Possible & the opposite of immature is Mature, you can conclude that i'm a very Portant person to some."

"Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes. OH MY GOD THEY'RE CHINESE!"

"A customer asked me to check their balance. ...so I pushed them over and they fell."

"What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? Seizure salad"

"Why is Whitney Houston good at video games? One of her strong suits is HAAND EEEEEEEYYYEEEE coordination."

"Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room? Because it was More ER Tea."