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Joke of the Day

"LOL""Twitter is better with friends. We found some people you might know"". Block Block Block Block"

"How's Bud Light like having sex in a canoe? They're both fucking pretty close to water."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants??? One is a crusty bus station and one is a busty crustacean:D"

"I've been calling my husband ""babe"" for five years because I'm too embarrassed to tell him I forgot his name."

"Internet, just because I bought shoes from you once doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. You're coming across as desperate."

"Roses are dead, violets are dead, ... I'm a bad gardener"

"There's 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"Why are all lesbians ill? They lack vitamin D"

"You know how Feminists say, ""The only thing men think about is sex."" We also think ""Should I risk it and not wear the condom?"""

"I just ran 3.5 miles in 30 minutes! Ha! Just kidding, I ate some ice cream."