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Joke of the Day

"I've stolen so much stuff from work that some of my colleagues now have to work at my house"

"A got a beer for my wife... and it was the best trade I've made in a while"

"Things that kinda rhyme... Very Hungry Caterpillar Scary Money Counterfeiter"

"Yo' mamma is so dumb.... ... She put a ruler on the side of her bed to see how long she slept."

"I'm an antisocial-psychic. I can see ahead of time that I won't want to talk to you."

"haha just plucked a shoulder hair so long it could only have been written by George R.R. Martin, who is widely known for abjuring brevity in"

"Did you hear what happened to the guy whose left arm and left leg got chopped off? He's dead."

"[drinks milk from carton] WHY AREN'T YOU USING A GLASS?!? ""I went to the eye doctor"" What does that mean? ""He said I don't need glasses"""

"I put methanol in the punch bowl... ...and now I can't find the punch line."

"I quit drinking & people laughed at me. Now the iPhone 7 is here and I get to sell a clean & pure Liver. The joke is now on them."