108921

Joke of the Day

"HR has a problem with me giving the vending machine guy a lap dance. In my defense, he was packing Dark Chocolate Twix."

"I was an alcoholic for seven years. Today marks my eighth."

"Here's one myfriend's little sister told me. Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ""p"" is silent."

"What do you call a dictatorship founded on the principles of Ethos, Logos & Pathos? An Aristotalitarian Regime."

"What is loud and sounds like an apple? **AN APPLE!**"

"A man tried to sell me a coffin today I told him that was the last thing I needed."

"The toothbrush was probably invented in Arkensas Anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush."

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef Strokenoff!"

"Q: What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action? A: An inj-oink-tion."

"Why did no one ever consider Tony Stark (the Iron Man) a protagonist? Because he was always cited as the Anthony hero."