213977

Joke of the Day

"Here's one myfriend's little sister told me. Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ""p"" is silent."

"Seeing as Rick Parfitt has died, does that mean... ...that the Status Quo has not been maintained?"

"And Jesus said, ""Come forth and receive everlasting life...."" But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven."

"What are the similarities between my work shirt and the children of Flint, MI? They both were recently ironed."

"Why do cowboys prefer wienie dogs? So they can get a long little doggie."

"Saw a guy scratch his balls and then he made eye contact with me as he smelled his fingers. Probably took 8 years off my life."

"Why are there a lot of problem gamblers in the Harry Potter universe? Because they have a quidditch."

"A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey."" The horse says, ""Sure."""

"So a man comes in a bar Er, no, wait, I meant a horse. So a man comes in a horse..."

"Dear Ad Agencies, Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials. On behalf of dog owners everywhere, Thanks!"