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Joke of the Day

"Why do chicken coops have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors it would be chicken sedans."

"I don't know why people are surprised when I tell them my Grandfather Made it out of Auschwitz. Most of the German officers did."

"Q: What do you call the hair of a centaur? A: Humane."

"Friend: ""Hey, want me to get out my didgeridoo so I can play for you?"" I'd rather you didgerididn't."

"One thing I've learned about getting older is that not everything is as how it appears. Or I need new glasses. Again."

"Jetsons? Hardly. The future turns out to be playing Scrabble from the toilet at work with someone halfway around the world."

"If you have twin girls and don't dress them like in ""The Shining"" and make them stand in hallways, you've squandered a precious gift."

"What sounds do nuts make when they sneeze? Cashew"

"What's the difference between Sara Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing came out of her vagina."

"The older I get, the more I realize nobody is better than I am. Except people with statues of lions outside their house. They rule."