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Joke of the Day

"Friend: ""Hey, want me to get out my didgeridoo so I can play for you?"" I'd rather you didgerididn't."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face."

"I'm fairly tall so folks are always asking me ""Do you play basketball?"" My standard reply: ""No, do you play miniature golf?"""

"Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise."

"What is an amputees favorite movie? Armageddon."

"Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people? He needed places to hide the bodies."

"I hear the new Supreme Court ruling over gay marriage has really got a lot of people butt hurt"

"How do redneck Na'vi get their skin tone? Blue Genes... I'll be here all week"

"Tell me twitter, just how the f am I similar to a Buick dealership?"

"My Social Studies classes never taught me relevant social topics like ""How to ask a girl out,"" ""How much to pay her,"" or ""Will HIV kill me?"""