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Joke of the Day

"One thing I've learned about getting older is that not everything is as how it appears. Or I need new glasses. Again."

"My Mexican friend asked me, ""What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?"" I asked, ""What?"" He said, ""Little Caesars!"""

"What is it called when Al Gore comes up with a solution to a problem? An Al-Gore-ithm. I'll see myself out."

"I've always been a B+ student. It's in my blood."

"[School] Teacher: What's ur biggst fear? Child1: Ghosts! Child2: Dogs! Child3: That humanity's core reaction to misunderstanding is anger"

"married sext... him: I'll be home soon her: don't you threaten me"

"I would rather read aloud the iTunes terms and conditions in Spanish than be at work today."

"These riots remind me of basketball There are always people stealing, but you can't win without shooting."

"How do you feel when you don't have coffee? Depresso."

"Garbanzo beans vs chickpeas I used to to not know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea. But last night I definitely didn't have a garbanzo on my face."