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Joke of the Day

"Valentine's Day makes me realize how single I really am. But I'm still gonna sleep like a baby knowing I'm not getting cheated on."

"Me: I should stop drinking Me: Why? Me: I dunno Me: You're awesome when you drink Me: Really? Me: Yeah Me: Thanks, me. You're alright"

"""Hey can I do it?"" Anaesthetist: sure, knock yourself out"

"What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky you use a feather, perverted you use the whole chicken."

"*Snowman wakes up in hospital* ""What happened to me?!"" Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did?"

"What kind of file do you need to turn a 8mm hole into a 40mm hole? A pedophile"

"The difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job? one is a crusty bus station."

"No need to fight over me, ladies. I'm perfectly capable of disappointing all of you sexually."

"Every time someone tells you they are a vegan an angel eats a dog."

"HELP! We need your best joke you have! We will choose the best joke and make a video of it, just for you!"