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Joke of the Day

"Me: I should stop drinking Me: Why? Me: I dunno Me: You're awesome when you drink Me: Really? Me: Yeah Me: Thanks, me. You're alright"

"Americans eat Turkeys at Christmas. Do people in Turkey eat Americans?"

"Did you hear about the fight at the homeless camp yesterday? It was in tents."

"I like my woman like I like my Coffee. Without a Penis."

"Husband comes home early and sees his wife with a black man. And says: ""Now i can see black on white that you are cheating on me. """

"You're only as old as you feel, they say. So, 80. Today it's 80."

"Leaving your cell phone unlocked near your girlfriend is like leaving a cake near a fat kid"

"Vegetables They never knew what hit em"

"Ebola gives new meaning to the phrase 'Eat Shit and Die.' Credit to my brother for coming up with that one!"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Probably an award or something. I mean, that would be pretty crazy. Alternative punch line: I don't know. The zoo won't let me try."