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Joke of the Day

"hmmm public speakimg clases..? well do u hav private speakimg clases? bc i hav a secret *leans in close to u* I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO WHISPER"

"What's a Rabbi's favourite drink? Mountain Jew."

"If I was a police sketch artist I would be like ""is this the guy?"" And they would be like ""nope that's a barn"" because I can only draw barns"

"My doctor says I'm allergic to feces I am the egg man. Poopoo, achoo!"

"Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two minute guitar solo."

"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it's already screwed in! heh. *chirp* *chirp*"

"My wife and I are doing role reversal to spice up our sex life... She's going to be the aggressor, and I'm going to lay there like a corpse."

"What do you call a trapped fly in a frying pan of stir fry? Your mum"

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rubber-Toe! (Roberto)"

"Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no."