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Joke of the Day

"Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !"

"What is the best pick up line at a gay bar? ""Hello, can I push your stool in for you?"""

"You don't make any sense. I would know because I'm unemployed."

"Your password must include 5 minutes of interpretive dance, 15 excerpts from contemporary fiction and 1 word made up by Shakespeare."

"What has two arms,two legs and eats ants? Uncles"

"I want to open a drinking establishment without any furniture. It'll be the best around, Bar None."

"WTH? My neighbors say they don't like to spoon!? Even after I stopped sleeping in the nude. And introduced myself. Old people! Amirite?"

"""Why your stomach is so big""...""I had a baby"" ... for lunch."

"I went through and unfollowed everyone who is better looking than me. It took a lot longer than I thought it would."

"Why are radios cheaper in Scotland? Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried."