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Joke of the Day

"Why did the superhero make a lot of shredded cheese? It was for the grater good."

"Sometimes I really miss you (my ex)... Then I remember I have a hand and the internet."

"Someone told me a story of a mountain climber... It ended with a cliffhanger."

"Girl's idea of Valentine's Day. (???(?.? )? Guy's idea of Valentine's Day ( o )( o?(^?^?)"

"This year's Oscars are just like Zero Dark Thirty. We know how it's gonna end, but let's all pretend it's suspenseful."

"a rock fell out my pocket and i crouched down to find it and a bunch of people helped like i lost a contact. had to pretend it wasn't a rock"

"[end of long conversation] HER: let me give you my number ME: great! [forgot name] how do you spell your name? HER: ME: HER: k-i-m ME:"

"*sees a shark in a homemade clam costume* That's a pretty dubious clam"

"I met a girl in the pub last night and we ended up back at my place. I didn't have a f*cking clue what I was getting myself into. So I politely asked her to shave it."

"What has 50 legs but cant walk ? Half a centipede !"