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Joke of the Day
"Barista: Can I get your name? Me: Lisa Barista: Pizza? Me: Yeah, that's fine."
Next Joke
"You know who's full of themselves Narcissistic cannibals"
"If a hipster falls in the middle of the woods and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Yeah, but you've probably never heard it before."
"Alright white people, had to Google ""totes"" to find out what the hell it meant. I know one of you came up with it. Cut that shit out."
"Best Husband A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ""I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."" The woman replies, ""I'll miss you..."""
"Colorblind people are wondering why everyone on Facebook is celebrating Fifty Shades of Grey"
"Life is like a box of chocolates Everyone hates the dark ones"
"In any kind of relationship...you learn more about someone at the end of that relationship than at the beginning......"
"Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C."
"When a man falls over the side of a boat... the crew shouts ""Man overboard!"" When a woman falls over, the crew shouts ""Full speed ahead!"""