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Joke of the Day

"Barista: Can I get your name? Me: Lisa Barista: Pizza? Me: Yeah, that's fine."

"What do you call a dog with no tongue? Dirty bollocks"

"I was going to buy some classical CDs... But it turns out I'm baroque."

"Why was the Jolly Green Giant wrongly accused of being a pedophile? He'd been letting the kids use his dick for a bungee cord."

"Other than THAT Ms. Lincoln, how was the play?"

"Women's magazines: Page 5: accept yourself for who you are Page 8: how to lose 10lbs in 1 week Page 12: best cake recipe"

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What do you call five black guys having sex? A threesome 3/5ths compromise"

"What is Link's favorite Final Fantasy character? Zell, duh!"

"Those who say ""two wrongs don't make a right"" have obviously never tried ranch dressing on french fries."