130655

Joke of the Day

"What is a pirates favorite letter? P. Because without it, he'd be irate."

"This isn't a competition! -People who are losing"

"Whats white on top and black on the bottom? Society."

"'Siri, am I an alcoholic?', I whisper into my burrito."

"Weather channel: It's going to get up into the mid-30's this afternoon but it'll still feel like it's in the teens. Me: Literally me."

"Two Flies Are Sitting On a Piece of S#!t... ...the first fly farts. The other gives him a disgusted look and says, ""Come on man! I'm Eatin' Here!"" Boom."

"Guys. GUYS! Every issue of National Geographic is now on DVD-ROM. FINALLY! God I've missed masturbating to sweet aborigine pancake titties!"

"Girls who are easy on the eyes are usually hard on the balls and wallet."

"What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the south. Nothing, someone's losing the trailer."

"Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra"