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Joke of the Day

"What disease does a mad scientist have? boffin spongiform encephalopathy"

"I'm going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, tell them, I'm outstanding."

"After Michael jackson died.. They melted all the plastic from his face. They took the plastic and made toys. So the kids can play with him for a change."

"Someone talking about something passionately automatically makes them 10 times cuter, unless it's Hitler... Then it's only nein times cuter"

"I'm not saying my ex is crazy,but The only way to take her picture, is with a Bi-Polaroid"

"General Lee didn't have kids? A parent Lee not."

"Getting up Is only the second hardest thing in the morning."

"If Yao Ming decides to a get cat, he should name it Meow Ming."

"Remember, Christmas isn't about how big your tree is, or what's under it. It's about who's around it."

"During the height of the Cold War, spies were prepared to commit suicide if caught, with the help of a tiny #weed cigarette."