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Joke of the Day

"After Michael jackson died.. They melted all the plastic from his face. They took the plastic and made toys. So the kids can play with him for a change."

"First people said ""Myspace"" me. Now everyone says ""Facebook"" me. I'm sticking with a classic and still telling people to ""blow"" me."

"""Hey pregnant, I'm dad"" .... .... .... ..... ""Oh god wait."""

"Why can't you hear Django coming? The D is silent."

"Referring to one's self in the third person is really obnoxious, but you refer to yourself in the second person and it confuses everyone. It's probably why you have no friends."

"What word starts with ""n"" and you never want to call a black person? Neighbor"

"What is Donald Trump's least favorite '80s band? Foreigner"

"What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? Dubai doesn't like the Flinstones but Abu Dhabi do"

"The girls that say that all guys want is sex, are usually the ones who have only that to offer."

"I'm gonna be a professional farmer when I grow up. I've been wanting to get in that field for years."