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Joke of the Day

"Today is National 'Secure a rich lover' Day Mate wealth, 2016."

"""There are no dumb questions"" is truly the perfect trap for making dumb people reveal themselves."

"Why did the guitarist go to prison? For fingering a minor."

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug addict? The prostitute can wash her crack and then use it again!"

"The other day I saw a short man carrying an LED tv and I asked "" hey do you help carrying that tv?"" And he replied all pissed off ""Fuck off dude, this is my tablet"""

"What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy"

"For me, the hardest part of the driving test was escaping before the car filled with ocean water."

"I'm smarter than the average bear. But I'm dumber than most foxes and some of the more intelligent bears."

"What do you call attempting to jump to light speed before checking the Hyper Drive first? A Wookie mistake!"

"Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce? Because they were both too Shellfish."