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Joke of the Day

"What do you call attempting to jump to light speed before checking the Hyper Drive first? A Wookie mistake!"

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"Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise? She heard he was in a few good men."
"Why did the judge throw out Bram Stoker's lawsuit? His accusations weren't backed up by vampirical evidence"
"I can't cook with spices right now... ...I just don't have the thyme."
"The old waterlogged corpse gag How do you make a waterlogged corpse's dick float? Seltzer water, a scoop of strawberry ice cream, and a waterlogged corpse's dick."
"A physicist sees a man about to jump off from the top of Sears Tower... He yells to him ""Don't do it! You have so much potential!"""
"Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus? The answer is (B) a flounder. The other two are crushedAsians."
"What's the similarity between a burned pizza and parents? If it's black it won't give you any food"
"What do you call a good fortune teller? Optimystic"
"old people love to comment on news stories ""these are sad times we're living in"" like humans only recently started being pieces of shit"
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