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Joke of the Day

"""It's so funny running into you like this."" -Guy who just crashed his car into yours in a hilarious way"

"Why did Satan need life alert? Because he had fallen, and could not get back up."

"Since Monopoly replaced its tiny iron, the talking mice in my walls now all have wrinkled shirts."

"What do you call a free gigolo? Pro-boner."

"I don't see why being an astronaut is so hard, school teachers do it. Get in the rocket, rocket goes up, rocket blows up. I could do that."

"How did the crazy man get across the forrest? He took the psycho path. ( )"

"I bought shoes off a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day."

"What do you do when your one night stand doesn't take Plan B? Plan C-ya."

"My Japanese girlfriend had a really bad tempura."

"I love how Simba acts upset when Mufasa dies as if he didn't just do a choreographed musical number called ""I Just Can't Wait To Be King""."