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Joke of the Day
"I bought shoes off a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day."
Next Joke
"[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? ""No"" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!"
"What's tall, handsome and muscular? Not you!"
"My favorite response to someone asking how something works... ""Magic"" even when I do know how it works. Because Lazy"
"Thinking about quitting my job to pursue my dream of not working."
"Happiness is like peeing in your pants ...everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth."
"What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller"
"A helicopter crashed on a graveyard Reports says over 500 dead."
"An unconscious man arrives at a hospital... After a series of x-rays, the radiologist discovered the man had several plastic horses in his anus. The doctors have declared his condition as ""stable."""
"A little girl was next in line. 'My name's Curtain' she said. 'I hope your first name is not Agnate ?' 'No it's velvet !'"