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Joke of the Day
"I'm here for whatever you need me to do from the couch."
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"So a baby seal walks into a club...."
"""I used to work at a fire hydrant factory."" ""You couldn't park anywhere *near* the place!"" -Steven Wright"
"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When did this start? Well first I created the sun then the earth..."
"What is a Muslim baby's first word? ""Revenge!"""
"How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb has to want to change"
"Dad jokes are amazing/beautiful/magical things!! People today seem to thing dad jokes are cringe worthy but being a dad i feel i must speak out!! So what arr your best dad jokes?"
"""Mommy when I grow up, I want to be a shoe"" -straight up killin' it at this parenting thing"
"days 'til xmas Today is December 10th, there is is only 14 shoplifting days til xmas. Now get out there"
"Whenever I miss my ex I think about the things I didnt like about him... Like his hairy behind and his wife."