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Joke of the Day

"*4YO and I slo-mo run towards each other* 4: I didn't pee the bed daddy! Me: Me neither! *big hug* It was a big night for both of us."

"Did you hear about the guy who jumped off a tall building and fell through a manhole? He commited sewercide"

"What did one ocean say to the other? I'm not completely shore, but it must have been pretty deep."

"A women claims she is too sexy to live a normal life.. OK. I feel her pain but from the ugly side of things"

"The early bird gets the worm... but the second mouse gets the cheese!"

"Sporty I bought my wife fumarate. Now during sex moans as Sharapova."

"When I'm on reddit When I'm drunk on reddit: ""Perhaps an up vote for this fine sir, he provided intriguing content."" When I'm sober on reddit: ""YOU SHALL ALL BE DOWN VOTED! NO ONE SHALL BE UP VOTED!"""

"What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine? They both have a hard time pulling off a twist."

"I went on a date with a Vacuum Salesperson last night... It sucked."

"[Person who spends 20 hours per week in the gym] ""The trick is to drink 8 glasses of water a day."""