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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who jumped off a tall building and fell through a manhole? He commited sewercide"

"80% of readers won't understand this...and the rest 20% will be condescending. How do you confuse Pareto? Tell him you belong to ""the"" 20%."

"I have a fifth sense when it comes to smells."

"bought candy at the movies and suddenly i can't pay this months rent anymore"

"9: Daddy, what starts with F and ends in UCK? my face: *look of horror* 9: firetruck! What else? me: nervous laugh *pours another drink*"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number. Edit: I get it, this joke is just too far-fetched for you mainstreamers to understand."

"[Native Americans see ship approach] Let's use fake names lol ""Ha! I'll be Running Bear,u be Crazy Horse"" lmao do u think they'll believe us"

"I was this close to having a threesome last night... Just needed two more people."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, because he could never come."

"What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that."