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Joke of the Day

"Him: I just want a stable relationship. Me: Yeah, horses are cool. Him: ........ Flirting is hard, you guys."

"So I went to the mattress store and tried laying on one of the Temper-Pedic mattresses. I was impressed."

"What's a racist photographer's favorite hobby? Crushing the blacks."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? Nobody ever wants to borrow my hippo :-("

"What does a mermaid wear to math class? An ""algebra"""

"[ugly sweater contest] *starts sweating* *takes home the gold*"

"How will Trump fund the wall? He'll get the money from *wall* street"

"Me and my girlfriend are just too different... I exist and she doesn't"

"Apparently, Indian banks will give you a loan only if you prove that you don't need it."

"how do you know asians have broken into your home? the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway"